The Fabulous World of DiDi Glitz
If Didi had a dollar for every Mai-Tai she's imbibed she'd be living in the Fountainbleau Hotel in fabulous Miami Beach which is where she truly belongs rather than the existential suburban nightmare America she is now miserably dwelling in without even the comfort of a live-in or even occasional lover and with only her rebellious teenage daughter, Crystal, and her contact paper to keep her company.

She is reduced to Rum and Diet Coke cocktails with an occasional maraschino cherry for cheap thrills. So she constantly dreams up far-fetched schemes to fulfill her desperately tawdry cravings for glamour and glitz.

DiDi is a suburban Sysiphus striving futilly to redecorate her life. She thrives on highly charged emotional scenes, valium and pepperoni pizza. She scrupulously examines and catalogs her physical flaws and any sign of incipient aging sends her into a panic . Wrinkles, dewlaps, crowsfeet, cellulite, flab and grey hairs are all featured in her self-flagellating litany of disgust.

Her best friend is Loretta, a full-figured, bee-hived, beak- nosed, over-sexed brunette bombshell. Loretta favors skin tight toreador pants and lots of cleavage,

DiDi's widowed mother, Irma, lives in Miami Beach. Irma favors Mai-Tais, muu-muus and beach boys. Not necessarily in that order.